A Hard Lesson to Learn

*Would you be my pirate? And I could be your wench.*

All the King's horses and even all his men had no chance of putting me back together again. But it's okay guys, no matter your lack of support, I'm actually doing it myself. I've avoided this for years. Six darkened years, and now I'm seeing light. I've been on a change rampage, but I've only just realised I've been trying to change the wrong people. Those people being everyone but me.

I can put at least ten things on my list. And you couldn't see a single one. You sucked me into your dark, rank and evil hole. You dragged me by my heart strings, played on them with your musician fingers and wooed me into despondence. What a way to be courted. I know this has been in me for ever, but you brought it out in it's entirety. To think I'd been blinded by your charm, and your hands, and your blue eyes; eyes as deep and sorrowful as the ocean; eyes you could be lost in; eyes I got lost in. I know I essentially destroyed myself, but sharing your crimson sheets chipped away at my strength. And if I thought you might be able to handle the truth, I'd tell you how fucked you are. I'd tell you who made me believe I was worth more than you. I'd tell you that you played a starring lead in the film of Lexy's demise.

The world does, however, revolve as a balance. Yin and yang. So with the bad comes the good. If I could tell you those things, I could tell you, too that you meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all. You'll always be in my heart, but no longer will you play its strings. I learned a few direct lessons from you about pain, but most of all you taught me that I deserve the best. Indirectly, you showed me that I am worth every smirk I flash and every heel I own.

No, I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learnt.